Kelli Martin's Take on Episode Three

Spoiler: It's pretty saucy.

Q: So, the obvious question is why you'd ever want to be the leader in a group challenge. That is death. And you know that firsthand. The challenge yesterday, the leaders were picked by luck of the draw. Do think everyone was hoping to be an assistant?

A: First off, I think that "random" little button bag is a scam! This is a reality show man, they have pockets or something in that bag to determine who ends up together! I wanted to be chosen as the leader, I wanted to be in charge, and I wanted to win! I don't trust ANYONE, but I NEVER thought anyone would purposely sabotage another. On the other hand, I caught a glimpse of a few people's sketches on my season for episode 5, and it appeared as if they were attempting to get the assistant job! For instance, Kenley's sketch looked like an ACTUAL stick person! Who presents that to a client??!! As in my season, I am sure that some of the designer's are actually attempting to do a good job, and the others are "playing the game."

Q: When Tim Gunn throws out the curveball that they need another, more complicated dress, is that totally disheartening?

A: It takes next to nothing to whip together a swimsuit.....and like 1/2 yard of fabric! So all of this bitching about what they needed to buy was time wasting....buy a bunch of crap, and you will have choices!

All of the beach looks, especially with 2 people, should take no time to execute! I do understand the stress of having shit thrown at you last minute, so I get it, but it shouldn't be a big deal.

Q: How does one handle friction in a team challenge. Q[uacks] and Epperson clearly wanted to fight to the death. How does one work through that?

A: Honestly, I wish I would have been a TOTAL bitch to Daniel in my challenge. He either deliberately fucked his shit up, or he REALLY didn't know how to sew/construct. (A pencil skirt can be made in like 30 minutes!)

I must admit, I prefer working alone (I am a loner, Dottie, a rebel), but I did my best to not jack his jaw! When one person is practically sewing the whole look, AND helping their partner make their half, the final garment is TOTALLY going to suffer.......they made the right choice keeping Epperson.....I have a feeling we are about to see more DOTS rejects from Q.

Q: What the Hell was Mitchell's problem?

A: He obviously is lazy and cannot sew. He was kept around because he fits the PR stereotype, not because he is a good designer. It's funny how one person can never be in the bottom, win the "innovation" challenge against the ENTIRE cast of 16 contestants, and still be auf'd. Apparently you get 3 strikes now....

Q: This episode was not-so-subtly sponsored by Garnier. How much of an effect do the hair and makeup people have on looks. Do they really complete looks and make your work that much better or could you have done without them? And did they ever make one of your looks worse?

A: Man, I could have done this shit. No offense, and I have been creating my own look for 20+ years, but SERIOUSLY??! Is the hair & makeup typically ever mentioned? They have to push, push, push the sponsors in order to pay for their MASS advertising for this dull ass season. (Oh sorry, did I say that out loud?)

And some Kelli potpourri:

Finally, I hated most of the looks. I thought they were dull and boring. I did, however, LOVE the 2nd look with the zippers by Louise and the Ohioan. (that was her partner, right??) The rest were COMPLETELY forgettable....well, Ra'mon did an ok job with his second look....I love the dyeing of fabric! I am sure that you can tell! Seems like a lot of hand dyeing lately......nice to see them using gloves and buckets, etc.....I used my BARE hands like a caveman!

Oh yeah, did you see Heidi's HIDEOUS extensions in that ponytail??!! You are a millionaire!!!!!! And again, if I hear "chic", "amazing", or anything similar again, I REALLY am going to die! GET A NEW VOCABULARY!!!!! Why do these designer's find it necessary to sound so cliche'??!!!