By the way, I super promise that Harmony and I are going to start watching some proper Lifetime movies. We saw one together, but it needs a sober rewatch. That's happening tonight.
And Kelli's absence last week: I don't know what to tell ya. She mentioned being much busier in the past few weeks and if I had to choose something to slip through the cracks, helping some people I've never met complain about a reality show would be first on the list. Hell, this is my site and I go weeks without posting all the time.
As for Project Runway, ugh. So terrible. Design two blue dresses for Macy's? Really? That's it?
This is the worst challenge on a season filled with terrible challenges. There are no limitations other than that the color blue should be involved. And the best part about these blue dresses? They're only available at Macy's! That makes no sense. Why is that the best part? The best part of Sam's Club seltzer water is that it's only available at Sam's Club? Wait, what?
So we're doing teams because two dresses in one day is difficult. Epperson wins the awesome award for being thankful that he's with a designer he actually respects in Christopher. Haha, fuck you, Qwacks!
(Oh please God let Epperson make it to the challenge where they bring back all of the eliminated contestants and set him up with Qwacks again. It would actually be - gasp! - dramatic.)
So two blue dresses and that's it. And all of the teams get along, so that's pretty boring too. The only extra "drama" is a lot of big talk from Heidi Klum that they might eliminate TWO contestants!
Spoiler alert: They only eliminate one.
So, take all of these factors and what do you get? The worst episode in series history. It was putrid. Unacceptable.
But on to the dresses!
This is Irina's winning dress:
I hate it. Boring and only the flattest of the flat chested could pull it off. I thought Heidi only liked titty dresses.
I much preferred the team of Carol Hannah and Shirin. Those two elf-women provided two striking dresses that were worthy of a win.
To be fair, this photograph makes the dress look like nothing special and, obviously, I don't know what I'm talking about. But I found this to be prettier and more marketable. Team Leader Carol Hannah was robbed.
Epperson, despite being partnered with a designer he respected, still found a way to be on the bottom.
The judges savaged this. Michael Kors said the model looked like a circa 1979 librarian. This is why it's good to have Michael Kors back, even if his taste is questionable.
I...I kind of like this. Maybe it's because my girlfriend bought a very similar piece of clothing a week ago and I don't want to make her feel bad...but I really like this. It's flirty!
Epperson's teammate (and team leader) made something much worse:
Ahhh! The goggles! They do nothing!
This fashion sin was exacerbated by Christopher's crying jag on the runway. I am sorry for the casual sexism here, but man up. You made a shitty dress and you deserve the ridicule. Frankly, that dress was the worst of the bunch and you should be going home.
But I'm certainly not worried that the judges decided to send Louise home instead. Louise sucks. And her designs were atrocious.
The second, more disastrous number, was actually attributed to teammate Nicholas. But Nicholas had immunity. And it was Louise's design. And why the Hell would you ever choose to work with someone who has immunity?
It was a perfect storm against poor Louise. And a reminder that eliminating Ra'mon last week was a tragedy and a waste of a superior talent.